Over Christmas, as I was drifting off to sleep, I had a sudden thought: "oh no, I haven't even begun to think of my word for next year!" As soon as I finished my sentence the word popped in to my head. The speed of my response to the initial thought made me hesitant. How can a word come so freely when it hasn't even been on my mind. That was nearly a week ago but it took until yesterday for me to truly let the word loose in my thoughts. I typed in out but I didn't want to own it. It felt dull, plain, not very me. I wanted something exciting, challenging, new.
I wandered Port Meadow this morning, as has become my new year custom. I didn't walk my usual route, I wanted to see the ponies that live on the meadow so I went away from the river. As I walked and got closer to the ponies, I decided that I'd gotten close enough and I was going to head for home. That's when I heard the word again...
Stay
...and I realised it's the word I need this year. I'm easily distracted. I need people around me to prompt me when I start to stray from my path. I settle for enough and go elsewhere.
Stay seems such an unexciting word. I was hoping for "adventure" or "dream" or "growth". It's such an ambiguous word when you think about it. Do I stay a little longer in God's presence each day, stay in one place and make no progress, dwell in the good moments, soak up all that is around me, stay put where I live? What is it?
I cannot deny, it also has me wondering- what is going to distract me this year? Why do I need to stay? Is there something ahead that will totally ruin my faith? Sometimes I feel like I'm walking a tightrope and a slight wobble will have me plummeting to the darkness below. This year doesn't feel like that.
I expect challenges as a part of my Christian journey and I cannot plan ahead. All I can know if that Jesus is my Rock, my firm foundation that will keep me on this path through everything.
So here I am. This is the first year I've been excited for the year ahead and not thrown by the whole "new year, new me" thing. It's 2018 and I'm gonna stay a little longer.
Showing posts with label OneWord365. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OneWord365. Show all posts
Monday, 1 January 2018
Sunday, 1 January 2017
OneWord 365 2017
Speak.
This word did not come easily. There must have been maybe 20 other words I thought about but none were right. So just after Christmas, I took myself on a prayer walk. Within 30 seconds, I had my word. Speak. Then ensued 15 minutes of arguing with God because I absolutely did not want this word. Speak. What am I meant to do with this?! Brave was scary, can I not have an easier word this year? Please, anything is better than speak. Then God gave me the verse to go with it. A very wildcard verse to appear in my head (especially as at that moment, I was not listening particularly well!)
"Speak, for your servant is listening" 1 Samuel 3:10 when God is talking to Samuel but he thinks it is Eli calling him. Samuel eagerly responds to Eli saying "Here I am". Eventually Eli realises God is speaking and tells Samuel to respond with this sentence when God calls to him again. Samuel responds and God tells him big things.
Once I'd got over the fact I cannot change my word for 2017, I started to think. I started to write this post in my head as I walked and so many things came to me that are linked to this word.
Firstly, back in autumn 2015 I ventured in to the world of practicing the discipline of submission. I was great at it for a term, and then the assignment was done and I stopped. I had a negativity jar and was watching my speech- was what I said True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? "From out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). Back to moderating what I say and knowing when to stay silent. Challenge number 1.
Secondly, being brave has involved lots of speaking out about things that have happened or that I'm going through. I can be brave with words on a page. Can I be brave with my voice? I can't leave bravery behind in 2017 so that's challenge number 2. Being brave and speaking out more, especially when it feels hardest.
Finally, the real heart of 1 Samuel 3:10. Being prepared for God to speak. In return I am listening. Communication is not a one-sided thing. We don't need to speak for a conversation to happen. But like Samuel, I need to speak in order to show that I'm ready to listen to God. Honestly, in the last 4 months I can count on my hands how many times I've prayed, and on one hand the amount of times I've heard from God. That's hard to admit, but it is true. I'm coming from a place of conversation breakdown with God and it needs to change. Speak holds so emotions for me. It's scary; God might say something I do not want to hear, I might feel not ready to hear what He has to say. I might misunderstand what He is saying. All these things could go wrong. But what about all the things that could go right?!
And with this is the overall challenge for my year: giving God time to speak to me, truly listening to what He has to say, letting Him guide me in life further. This year once again holds so many uncertainties. But of one thing I am completely sure. God wont ever leave me alone in it. He is my hope and my anchor, my solid Rock.
I'm sure more will unfold over the year but for now these are the starting blocks.
So here it goes...
Speak, for your servant is listening.
This word did not come easily. There must have been maybe 20 other words I thought about but none were right. So just after Christmas, I took myself on a prayer walk. Within 30 seconds, I had my word. Speak. Then ensued 15 minutes of arguing with God because I absolutely did not want this word. Speak. What am I meant to do with this?! Brave was scary, can I not have an easier word this year? Please, anything is better than speak. Then God gave me the verse to go with it. A very wildcard verse to appear in my head (especially as at that moment, I was not listening particularly well!)
"Speak, for your servant is listening" 1 Samuel 3:10 when God is talking to Samuel but he thinks it is Eli calling him. Samuel eagerly responds to Eli saying "Here I am". Eventually Eli realises God is speaking and tells Samuel to respond with this sentence when God calls to him again. Samuel responds and God tells him big things.
Once I'd got over the fact I cannot change my word for 2017, I started to think. I started to write this post in my head as I walked and so many things came to me that are linked to this word.
Firstly, back in autumn 2015 I ventured in to the world of practicing the discipline of submission. I was great at it for a term, and then the assignment was done and I stopped. I had a negativity jar and was watching my speech- was what I said True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind? "From out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks" (Luke 6:45). Back to moderating what I say and knowing when to stay silent. Challenge number 1.
Secondly, being brave has involved lots of speaking out about things that have happened or that I'm going through. I can be brave with words on a page. Can I be brave with my voice? I can't leave bravery behind in 2017 so that's challenge number 2. Being brave and speaking out more, especially when it feels hardest.
Finally, the real heart of 1 Samuel 3:10. Being prepared for God to speak. In return I am listening. Communication is not a one-sided thing. We don't need to speak for a conversation to happen. But like Samuel, I need to speak in order to show that I'm ready to listen to God. Honestly, in the last 4 months I can count on my hands how many times I've prayed, and on one hand the amount of times I've heard from God. That's hard to admit, but it is true. I'm coming from a place of conversation breakdown with God and it needs to change. Speak holds so emotions for me. It's scary; God might say something I do not want to hear, I might feel not ready to hear what He has to say. I might misunderstand what He is saying. All these things could go wrong. But what about all the things that could go right?!
And with this is the overall challenge for my year: giving God time to speak to me, truly listening to what He has to say, letting Him guide me in life further. This year once again holds so many uncertainties. But of one thing I am completely sure. God wont ever leave me alone in it. He is my hope and my anchor, my solid Rock.
I'm sure more will unfold over the year but for now these are the starting blocks.
So here it goes...
Speak, for your servant is listening.
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