A couple of weeks ago I wrote about common misconceptions people have relating to depression. I have Atypical Anorexia too and that comes with a whole other bundle of things that people wrongly think. I'm going to tackle a couple of these in this post.
1) Eating disorders are a teenage girl thing- surely you're too old for this?
Yes, I am aware I am no longer a teenager. I was once, and that's when all this started. It turns out if you don't get the right help at the right time, you don't just grow out of it and so over 10 years later I'm still plagued by an eating disorder.
2) You can't have anorexia, you're overweight
Yup, and that's why it is "atypical". And if you ask me why it's atypical, I'll probably tell you "it's because I'm fat". That isn't entirely true. My more obvious symptoms fit quite well in to the "bulimia" category, however my mindset is very much that of someone with anorexia. The guilt over eating anything is there, if I can find an excuse to skip a meal I will but my guilt leads me to compensating by purging in a variety of ways. Either way, the professionals diagnosed me and I have to trust their diagnosis is right.
3) Surely you're just a fussy eater
Ah no. That's completely separate. Yes, I am an insanely fussy eater. It's easier to ask me the list of foods I like instead of the foods I don't like. I've been a fussy eater since I was a child. My mum never forced me to try anything I didn't want to. Yes, maybe it was me being slightly spoilt, maybe it was me being difficult but I'll try foods when I want to. It's safer to not pressure me to eat something I don't want to.
4) But I've watched you eat normally
People with eating disorders still eat! Normal is a very flexible concept. And in actual fact I eat much better when I'm with people, than I do when I'm left to my own devices with food. I also do have periods when I can eat like a 'normal' person for a couple of weeks at a time. Then the guilt wins and my head gets shouty and I give in to the negative thoughts. Two weeks of doing ok does not reverse my diagnosis, or the second anyone entered recovery they'd be completely fine!
5) Having an eating disorder and being vegetarian is disordered.
I hate being asked why I'm vegetarian, because in my case this is 95% true. I am a vegetarian as a result of my eating disorder and it allows me to have an excuse to be restrictive. However for me it also helps; it gives me fewer menu options so I don't spend an hour deciding what to eat, I can't binge on fast food because it's less available and meat for me is the biggest trigger food for certain behaviours. It isn't a long term solution, but it makes things more manageable currently. I've never had real support for eating disorder recovery and this is just how I've learnt to keep myself stable. This isn't the case for everyone though; people have ethical reasons to be vegetarian or vegan. I'm not judging people's life choices and you don't need to either.
I'm sorry if this hasn't been the most articulate post, I so often dismiss my eating disorder as "it's not the real issue" so I don't ever have to talk about this stuff. I fail with words when people make these comments, so I thought I'd try writing the answers to make the words come more easily next time I'm asked.
