Tightrope Walking

I must confess, I have never ever walked a tightrope. I could walk along a balance beam when I was younger but that was enough. My balance is definitely not what it used to be either! My fear is not of heights, it is of falling. I don't mind how high up I am, but I do mind how safe I am and what the potential is for fallling.

While I have never walked a tightrope, I feel like a lot of my life is finely balanced and if I were to wobble and lose that balance, everything will spiral down. For a while I would say I'd fall and it could go either way I'd either fall in to the depths or I'd fall on the other side and be ok. Maybe more like wandering along a cliff edge in a storm- will I be able to stand my ground or will I fall to my death? As I started writing this post today, I realised something. Until now, not once have I ever considered that there's the option of staying on the tightrope; wobbling but regaining balance and continuing the walk until I get to safety.  Until now I have not once considered that I don't have to fall.

Does this mean I am miraculously better and from now on will only focus on getting to the end and refuse to admit that falling is a possibility? It does not. But it has given me another option.

Years ago I came across the quote "What if I fall? but my darling, what if you fly?" It so simply describes my fear- flying has never been an option before. More recently I learnt that it's actually part of a longer quote. And now, nearly half way through this year, it's become even more relevant. The day of my breakdown at the start of May, a friend posed the question to the youth group "What would you do if you could not fail?" 7 weeks ago, I didn't dare answer although I knew exactly what my answer was. Now? The answer is: live truly free.

This is the whole quote, by Erin Hanson. I'll leave this with you.

“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”