One Week...

The first week of 2016 is complete. I survived. If my word for the year wasn't brave I'm not entirely convinced I'd still be standing right now. Every evening has involved repeating "I need to be brave enough just for tonight. We'll deal with tomorrow when it comes" So how have the resolutions been going?

First up the resolutions. Well I sit here at 20.30 with my phone on beside me. Turning it off at 6pm? Well it's happened some nights but also my mental health is a bit fragile at the moment. I need that external support that being able to contact my friends at different hours bring me right now. That doesn't mean I'm not still aiming for no phone after 6pm; circumstances right now require it to be different and actually I need to be kind to myself, not force myself to do this alone. I am, however, already more aware at how much more I need to invest myself in being present for others. Same with Facebook. I waste a lot less time on social media already and actually I'm more efficient to the point I'm left wondering "how did this ever take me so long?"!

I've managed my two walks this week, I've kept up daily quiet time and I'm being brave. Which brings me on to how my one word has been going. It hasn't been easy. Every single day I've had some sort of struggle; I'm so up and down at the moment but every night I'm making a conscious decision to be brave; to not give in to my head and see what happens tomorrow. I've had my first proper counselling session in several years, I've come back for the second term of internship (not an easy decision) and I've managed to start the term forgiving someone I wasn't sure I could. This week I've had to decide that I need to not look for jobs yet- it's not the time and it's stressing me out endlessly. The time will come and until then I have to keep giving it back to God.

I've had so many compliments and encouragements this week about things I've done and it feels good. The bad times are bad, but there's always something positive floating around that makes it easier. The days ahead scare me so bad, but I can smile. I am brave enough and I will win this battle. One day at a time.

She is clothed in strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come
Proverbs 31:25