At the beginning of June I attended a Women's Conference at my church with that title. It was a challenge to think of what comfort zone I'm still sat in. I worried that I was still in the mental illness comfort zone but I'm not- although I do have to choose every day to keep away from the safety net of hiding in bed, working myself up in to an anxious mess. But that wasn't the comfort zone I really felt God poking me to deal with.
In September I will be one of 4 children's interns at my church. I chose the children's ministry because I know it, it's safe. I applied for a different area of ministry too- one that is truly out of my comfort zone. But here I am- waiting to start full-time in the children's team. And you know what? I'm actually scared. It truly is out of my comfort zone. I have maintained for MANY years that I never want to make a career out of working for children. It's something I enjoy and nothing more. It appears God has other ideas. When it comes to children's ministry, I tend to open my mouth and end up being more involved. I'm hoping over the next 12 months, God's purpose for me becomes even more evident. I find working with children on a serious level, quite difficult. It provokes anxiety in me. I worry that they laugh at me secretly, that they look at me and say "I hope I never turn out like her when I grow up" even though children tend to be the least judgemental, especially in a church situation. I'm sure my fears around this are unnecessary. I'm already a valued member of the team but yet it's still relatively uncomfortable. But maybe the low level comfort is good- and that I can be used in ways that really are far out of my comfort zone- just to test the limits.
Another thing way out of my comfort zone is admitting vulnerability and asking people for a favour. and this week I have had to do a lot of that. On Tuesday the friend I was living with implied I needed to find somewhere else to live. Initially I told my dad I was moving home and there was no other option. But then one pastor at church said she had a spare room from the end of next week that I could move in to. And then I figured it wouldn't hurt to confirm if I could still stay with a friend for the planned night coming up. And then I asked a friend if I could stay with her for a night or two also. This is completely not me. I will do anything for anyone but rarely ask for anything myself. And yet I did. And while it was completely out of my comfort zone, it has had unbelievably wonderful results. I'm going to be back weeks earlier than I ever dreamed, and I am excited. So excited. Sometimes we have to push through the difficult things to reap the amazing benefits. It is so worth it and I must remember this.
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