Moving forward

About a year ago I went to the late service at my church. I was a mess. I sat shaking the entire service, knowing that I was only there because I wasn't safe to go home. At one point, a woman said she had had a picture of someone being sat in a cell. The door was wide open but they didn't leave. They continued to sit there. It struck me that night, that that image was for me. I was sat in that cell. I knew that the door was open. I knew I could recover and yet there I was sat waiting for someone to pull me out of that cell. That was the first night I'd told anyone at church that I was suicidal and let them pray for me. I wanted everything to stop.

Last June I was baptised and someone prayed for me after and said the shackle had been opened but I had to take the step. I've prayed in to that image many times but still, the foot stayed.

I don't even know what I was praying about tonight in church but suddenly an image appeared in my head. There was an open shackle and several feet away was myself, walking away from that shackle. Tonight I finally knew freedom. I know that it doesn't mean the troubles are over. I know that I could easily turn around and run back to what I know to be safe. But right now I'm moving forward. I'm praying that I leave that awful chain behind. Recovery is happening. I am stronger and more determined and I will keep going. With God's strength, I can win.


He brought them out of the darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. 

Psalm 107:14