Lent Experiments

The season of Lent has always been about fasting- I spent most of my childhood giving up chocolate or meat and being all "I do it because Jesus fasted for 40 days in the desert".

This year Lent took on a different meaning for me. Yes, I gave up buying coffee from chain coffee shops (yes I survived Lent with no Starbucks!) but this year I had different reasons. I want to be more conscious of where my money goes. Not necessarily in the sense of how much I'm spending (although I do need to reign that in) but actually why am I spending money in places that evade taxes and ignoring the local businesses that are much more ethically minded?

I won't lie- I have never cared previously about where things have come from and whether workers are treated fairly. I don't buy only fair trade, I buy things regardless of whether it is local produce or not, I still fly places. But I want that to change. I want to be more aware of what I'm supporting, good and bad, and try to minimise the unethical behaviours I am funding. While I may not be passionate about it, I know I need to change and I want to. I am a privileged white girl living in a first world country but that doesn't mean I should flaunt my background- everyone deserves a chance at a good quality of life and if I can do a little bit to make a difference I will. God gave us this earth to look after and I need to do my bit.

I was part of a community carrying out experiments of discipleship over the Lent period this year. We chose three goals, relating to different parts of our lives in which to change things. We didn't necessarily do the same things, nor did we all give up things.

I took up turning my phone off when I was around friends. I need to be more present in life and not live through technology. This was largely successful however I realised just who I feel safe around and who the anxiety is too great around and in those situations I at least wasn't holding on to my phone the entire time, but it was switched on *just in case*. It's hard, but I'm getting there. I would like to develop this in to only accessing the internet for 3 hours a day. It will take some work, but I will get there.

I also tried to regulate my sleep cycle so I get up in the mornings and follow the structure of my day. This hasn't really worked in any way. Taking meds, not taking meds, lying in bed endlessly for hours,  making sure I exercise in the day; nothing has enabled me to sleep at a similar time every night. I need to work on this as I cannot continue with such an obscure sleeping pattern. I also really want to get up early enough to read my Bible every morning. I will get there. It just takes a bit longer than Lent!

I must say though, having a group of us holding each other accountable has really helped! I always had in my mind that accountability groups were for people who had really bad issues and needed help turning away from them but actually they work for the day to day things too!

I'm going to set goals more frequently, and make sure I have other people supporting me when doing so. I will change things and I will get back in to a positive mind frame because other things fall in to place.

I'm so thankful for opportunities like this that remind me that no-one has the perfect life and we can all strive to make changes and it is ok to fail or not get there as quickly as expected. It's ok. It's trying that is important.